Okay
by teamfreewill82
Summary: Amy tries her best to deal with Ricky's guilt. [Oneshot]


**Disclaimer: I do not own** _ **The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_ **or anything pertaining to it except my own writing. I don't own my slight** _ **T.F.I.O.S.**_ **reference. All rights go to the rightful owners.**

Amy's key turned the lock and she pushed the side door open, stepping inside. Anne stood at the kitchen sink cleaning the dishes, but turned to look at her daughter when she entered. A smile appeared and she said, "Amy! How was it? Did you have fun?" The young mother nodded, feeling good.

"Yeah, I did," she said. "I'm pretty tired now, though. Is Ricky still here?"

Anne nudged her head towards the hallway. "He's upstairs with John." Amy headed out of the kitchen and up the stairs, treading lightly. Her bedroom door was open and inside was Ricky, cradling John.

Amy smiled at the sight; he didn't even notice her walk in. "Hey, Ricky." He looked up at that, and his face lit up with a smile, the sort that made Amy's insides feel like the swirling contents of a blender. "Amy, hey. How was the party?" he asked.

"It was good. I had fun, and it kinda was nice getting away." She stepped forward and held her arms out; Ricky obliged and settled their son into her arms. She held John's head and kissed it, then looked back to Ricky. "Thank you for watching him, Ricky. It means a lot. I mean I know you're his father and everything, but…"

"You know any time you need me, or John needs me, I'm here."

Amy smiled. "So, he was good then?"

Ricky nodded. "Yeah, he didn't cry at all," he told her. "He took a short nap, but he got restless so I picked him up again, talked to him."

The thought of it made Amy's smile widen and she tried to repress it. "I really appreciate this."

"It's the least I can do, right?" And there he went again with the guilt, dropped into his hole before Amy could even blink.

"Ricky…" she began, shifting John in her arms.

"I know, I know," he cut her off. "I shouldn't feel guilty. And don't get me wrong, I don't regret John. I just… regret what I've put you through."

"I don't regret John either. I mean, I guess I wish I wasn't 15," Amy considered, "but life isn't very considerate of details." She laughed a little but Ricky was looking down at her carpet. She stepped forward, holding her baby close. "Ricky, you're here to help me. That's all I could ask for. Do not feel guilty, okay?" He shrugged and Amy breathed out. "You know I love Ben. But at the hospital… it was sort of ironic that John was crying in his arms while with you…" Ricky looked at her then. "He loves you," she said.

"I can't really believe that's possible," he mumbled.

"I can," Amy disagreed. "Everyone else sees it. Why don't you?" He was silent. Amy gently set John in his crib and she folded her arms over her newly regained thin self. "Can I ask you something?" she questioned.

"Yeah, of course," Ricky replied, clearing his throat.

"At band camp… That day you introduced yourself… Was it a bet with you and your friends, that you could get me to have sex with you? Just another conquest or something?"

Ricky appeared pained. "Amy… I'm just–demented, okay? You're beautiful, believe me when I tell you that, Amy, you are beautiful and kind and everything I'm not. Sleeping with girls is like a habit for me. I can't stop and that's why I'm in therapy. Part of the reason, anyway. You were just a victim of that and I'm so sorry. If I had known… If I'd known how much you would come to mean to me…" He cut off and Amy said, "Then we wouldn't have John."

"And you wouldn't be a teen mom," he retorted.

"Ricky, we can't change the past, okay? We only control the future. Our choices. I chose to keep our baby, you chose to stay with me and raise him. You are an amazing father. I regret losing my virginity on the couch in the mess hall, yeah. But changing that could mean I wouldn't have John. That _we_ wouldn't have him, and I know he makes you a better man."

Ricky moved his eyes from the floor to Amy. "How do you know I can be a better man, Amy? Is redemption even possible for someone like me?"

"You aren't that far gone. And you're here, aren't you? Holding your baby and loving him? It's a start," Amy told him. "A great one."

When Ricky looked at her again, she could see his eyes were wet. "Amy, I… if I had gotten to know you… But I hadn't wanted to–,"

"It's okay. It's not _okay_ , but you know what I mean. Because we have the rest of John's life and ours to get to know each other." He swiped at his eyes furiously as a tear fell and without thinking she reached forward to pull his arm away and wipe the tears away more gently. He lifted his hand to hold hers to his cheek and she froze. His hand was soft and comforting, and she let him hold their hands together

"Okay?" she said.

He nodded against her palm. "Okay."


End file.
